If The whole point of the blog is to develop a readership in advance of by big publishing break, the maybe I'd better post some writing for general consumption and comment.
(side note: the blog also serves the purpose of an outlet for my woes until aforementioned big break comes along)
I posted the query previously, so you have some idea of the plot and genre of my book. It's by no means a humor novel, though what I'm about to post is hopefully a funny little bit. What I've tried to do throughout is bring the humanity and humor present in everyday life (at least in mine, if yours is humorless then I'm sorry) to the pages. I see no reason that a detective out to solve a major crime can't go about his day with a bit of wit like the rest of us. Sam Oak is no scowling Jack Bauer, nor do I ever want him to be. Think more along the lines of Robert B. Parker's Spenser.
All that said here is a brief exchange (one of many in the book) between Sam Oak and Petunia, the gatekeeper to the DARPA headquarters building. Before anyone goes in, they have to register the purpose of their visit with Petunia. Since his first day Sam has been trying to win her over with his charm. So far he's not faring well:
As he approached the Visitor Control Center and the blank stare of Petunia the gatekeeper he had a thought. Ghostbusters. Maybe, just maybe, Petunia had a sense of humor and had once watched the supernatural comedy. And hopefully its sequel.
As he approached the desk he removed his gun and holster from his hip. Popped open the cylinder, emptied it, clicked it shut and pushed it to his right, where he knew his friend the security guard would now be waiting to bag and tag it for his pick-up upon leaving.
"Petunia, my dear," Sam started. He was not surprised that the endearment had no visible effect. But he was ever confident that she was melting inside her candy coated shell. "Did you ever realize you're the keeper of the gate? Or-" Sam switched into his best Rick Moranis imitation, and stared in a trancelike state, "the Gatekeeper."
Petunia looked at him with the same blank stare she'd given him every day since his arrival. He couldn't tell if she didn't know what he was talking about or didn't think it was funny. He was getting a fairly strong sense that she didn't care.
"Have a blessed day, Petunia." Said Sam. He lingered just a moment to see if perhaps the religious farewell struck a chord. He was reaching for anything at this point. Blank Stare, followed by the standard instructions for property retrieval upon exit from the building. It was a little creepy that she'd said the instructions in the exact same words each day. It was a lot creepy that she'd used the same inflection. It could've been a recording. For all Sam knew, it was. Maybe Petunia was simply an animatronic receptionist purchased and refurbished from Disneyland after the decommissioning of the Country Bear Jamboree attraction. It would explain the heft.
The security guard whispered softly as Sam walked by, "Stay strong, Stay-puff."
No luck for Sam this go around. Feel free to let me know what you think about the writing.
