I don't usually watch commercials. The DVR has mercifully removed them from my tv routine. But every now and then if the tv is on in the background and my thumb is not glued to the fast forward button a few of the weasels manage to slip in. Which is ok. Because my backup is a well developed shield of indifference. I could care less what's being hawked. So the only time I take notice is when the volume goes inexplicably loud (thank you, congress, for fixing this) or something comes on that is so mind numbingly stupid I have to pay attention.
This is the story of a stupid commercial.
It starts with a man staring perplexed at a deep fried globe between his thumb and forefinger. The voice-over comes in with, "What part of the chicken is nugget?".
I'm with them here. Have you seen the mechanically separated slop that is a chucked nugget before the forming and frying? No? Then today is your special day:
It sort of looks like the end result of an elephant given a few gallons of Pepto Bismol to no avail.
We have forsworn chicken nuggets in our house. I prefer my meat product to possess the vague physical form of an animal. Now we eat Morning Star Chick'n Nuggets. Did you catch the replacement of the "I" with the apostrophe? That means they're soy. And actually very tasty. But I digress.
Next comes the assertion that, "We're KFC. Our cooks don't make nuggets, they make popcorn chicken!"
Excuse me? Exactly what part of the chicken is the POPCORN? I'm not writing this as a detached reflection. I'm recounting my immediate reaction. This is what I yelled--screamed--at my tv. How many stupid people did that line have to pass through on its way to my living room?
The commercial goes on to detail that popcorn chicken is in fact small pieces of the most premium breast meat (or the scraps left over from the larger pieces of their maltreated poultry, you decide which is more likely). But I'm no longer listening. I'm still trying to figure out just what part of a chicken is the popcorn.
I still have no idea.
You can watch the commercial here
